here and there in Dec

its been a while since last blog i posted. too much things happened, yet i still enjoying my life with work, friends and activities here and there. drama at workplace seems getting hotter and hotter but i decide to get myself away from it, bad for my soul, relationship and health.

as year 2011 is approaching, too much thing need to be done and not to mention holiday and friends invitation for wedding and social meeting at the same time must spend time with family. i think, i should go for family first. i only can be with them once a year and its a must in my calendar every year. i feel guilty sometimes when i realize i spend very little time with them especially my mama and papa. i know God is always there to protect them but memories with them is everything for me as their daughter.

stay away far from family, money always been an issue for people like me. travelling expenses, presents for family, money contribution for our house at hometown, contribution for family dinner and so on. lucky, my family is not really practicing this so-called 'angpau' and presents as get together is everything for us. no need 'angpau' and gifts, food will do..:)

friends...i missed a few gathering with them and planning to meet this December is a little bit tight. thanks God they still remember me even most of them i didnt meet for years; like 10, 15 years. social networks seems to be so famous nowadays. without seeing them in person, i still can get in touch with them and see their latest pictures. having lots of friends such a blessing for me and i will appreciate and remember them all the time.

i just can pray and hope that everything is going to be fine this dec.

watch out...May is on her way now..:)

have a blessed december

It's 3am now

I'm still awake and it's 3am in the morning. I'll tell you why I can't sleep. I went for a jog yesterday at 8.30 am...Say what? Yeah, I was not working and am taking this free time to prepare for my PBIM run next month. I finished my workout within 1 hour for 7 rounds including exercise. By 1 pm after I took my shower, I felt so exhausted and sleepy. As soon as I lay my head on my pillow, I immediately know that I can't resist staying up and when I open my eyes the next time around, it's already 5 pm!

I still feel tired even after four hours of sleep. I was thinking about my friend's invitation to play badminton at 9 pm yesterday and I feel so bad for turning him down. I can't stop thinking about it this whole night. Damn! Should have gone for that. At least, I would be sleeping while I am writing this, LOL!

A piece of prayer to share:
Father, thanks for the day that You had given me yesterday and also the food, roof above my head and all the nice people around me. Keep us safe tonight, bless our family, give a warm place to stay for all the homeless children and I pray that I can prepare myself to face new day today...nitey...zzz

Rooney: Yes, I want to leave United

It seems like bad day in the office for Fergie these few weeks, as well as Rooney. Most of the MU fans didnt give a blessing for Rooney to leave MU. Others say Rooney is nothing and some said Its time for Fergie to leave MU. This club is doing great under Fergie's empire and no one doubt it but the leaving of all the great players like Cristiano Ronaldo, Carlos Tevez and going to be soon Wayne Rooney will rise up lots of question mark to everyone. In his statement about leaving MU, he keep praising his present club but I cant really understand the exact reason why he is leaving such a great team. Maybe he cant get a total achievement if he stuck with MU forever and wanted to experience all the great club in the world. Great player..they always have this thinking. Poor you Rooney, you cant stand with Ferguson who always treats his players as his own son.

He's been always my favorite player and for now I am not ready to see him play in other club but as people said, MU is always about team. When Cristiano Ronaldo left on summer 2009, fans not that really worry because MU still has Wayne Rooney and some people said, his leaving can make Rooney shine and time for him to perform. Maybe MU will a bit shaky due to this news but this club had proved too many times that they still can win the match without Rooney and that we called it team spirit.

Well, good luck Rooney. Your figure as a sport celebrity will always expose you to scandal, gossip and stuff like that, some may true some may not but you just entered stage where you will face a strong desire, passion and very fragile. Sometimes you maybe wrong in making decision but who cares...its your legs that kick the ball, not me neither Ferguson. With or without you, I always like this team. There are lots of good player in this club and they deserve the credit too...Bye bye Rooney, I might not watching you playing anymore just like i did to Ronaldo. Talking about Ronaldo, I dont really admire him actually...If you happen to choose Man City as your new BOSS, please send my regards to Carlos Tevez or if you decide to go to Real Madrid send my regards to Cristiano Ronaldo. I read Chelsea and Barcelona are interested in you but you turned Barcelona down and for Chelsea, they cant pay you more than they pay for John Terry now. Is that true that United's lack of ambition was the reason you wanted to quit the club? You're too ambitious...I cant blame you for being too ambitious...!!!

Think too much make me miserable

Not going to work for 3 weeks make me think lots of things. Start from my health, future, daily life, spiritual life, family, money, work, to-do-list, home, settle down and so on. Its not really a good practice but this gives me a room to think about things that I left behind, forgotten or maybe I-will-think-about-it-later or tomorrow kind of stuff. It really makes me confused and miserable. I start to find here and there and it will always ends up nothing and life goes back to just like yesterday.

I try to find out where went wrong and guess what, all come back and pointed to ME. My biggest challenge now is my health and all I can do is to improve my life style and to do this alone is good enough to make my life and mind not in good track. Let me share this to you; to find good and trusted medicine/supplement, where to get it from, how much does it costs me, no assurance and to try them already cost me RMxxx per month at least, private or government hospital?. It takes lots of consideration and conditions. I wonder about what will happen with my health 10, 20, 30 years later. My gosh, now I even thinking about death. Okay, I think I need to pray a lot to find peace in my heart.

Maybe, maybe...this is so called unhealthy thoughts. I read this article I found while ago in internet;

People with good emotional health are aware of their thoughts, feelings and behaviors. They have learned healthy ways to cope with the stress and problems that are a normal part of life. They feel good about themselves and have healthy relationships.

However, many things that happen in your life can disrupt your emotional health and lead to strong feelings of sadness, stress or anxiety. These things include:

• Being laid off from your job
• Having a child leave or return home
• Dealing with the death of a loved one
• Getting divorced or married
• Suffering an illness or an injury
• Getting a job promotion
• Experiencing money problems
• Moving to a new home or having a baby.

As a christian, I believe in this, PRAY.

I need a break....

Helping is troubling

When we are in trouble, not all the time friend can help us. I realized when I ask for a small help but a friend of mine sounds so hard to help. I dont blame anyone but maybe just a little comparison for myself. When I put myself in that person shoe and I see that my friend really needs help (judge from the trouble happened to me) I will help for sure. I've been in the very difficult situation when I was young and I understand exactly how it feels.

When I think back, some person never been into that situation and they dont understand that so I cant blame anyone. We are in the position of asking help cannot aspect people to help us as we wish but their response will affect our personal judgement towards the person. It is something like "does she/he deserve to be called friend if cannot help a friend and the reason for that is lazy?". But deep down in my heart, I understand my friend's situation. I dont know but it just a little disappointment to a friend that I consider as a close friend. The thing is, even friends that I newly know can offer help without me asking but why this friend that I know for few years cant do that. This is not about my friend didnt help me but maybe I am too emotional about the saying "What's friend for".

PEACE be with you.

World Cup 2010

Its been awhile im into this sport and this is the 3rd world cup since I know how to watch, comment, follow guys conversations about football (Soccer) and things like that. This is entertaining and fun when I have a team that I like. I still remember when I just started to follow friends to watch and learn about it. Not much really...but somehow I can talk with my guy friends and at least I have something to say and even share my opinion.

It was funny when I think back, I don't understand why guys like to watch it and most of the time they non-stop talking about it. Now I know, I feel frustrated every time my team lost and not playing good enough. I even watch the game alone...hehe. My colleagues amazed and even laugh at me when I talk to guys about football. They quite surprise I can get up at 2.30am just to watch the game.

To tell you the truth, I still have lots of things that I don't know about this sport. But I just love this game or maybe my new interest. Some of my friends said its not about the sport that catches me but the good looking players. I simply said, "I like the team".

Now, World Cup fever is everywhere. I don't really have favourite team but I still wanted to follow the news and watch the game. Lets just see which team will win this World Cup this year.

Sucks

I hate so many things in my life including myself.
Why? Because i just hate it...Am i too straight? Deal with it....

It takes time to heal this illness.

I dont know this,
I dont know that,
Why this happen to me,
Why I do that
I could have done that better
I can do better
I can do that but why I still cant pass it through
Why I always think like that
Im suck
Im terrible
I just never being prepared but at least im being honest
Im stuck here
I hate someone
I hate myself
Almost hate everything
Why?
aaarrrgggghhh...!!!
Always the same story...duuuhhh...
Dragging time....bad
I should hate the list
I hate fixing people's simple bad habit...hate it...
I hate it when I need to say thing for second time
Aaaarrrggghhh....you suck May....really..
Change the attitude...
No comment...............do I need to say it out loud.

to be continued....this is fun...real fun..!!!


Sucks,
May

No blogging for almost 2 months and here I come again

Woww, almost 2 months off blogging? I have lots of things to say but just couldnt find the words. Blogging its all about idea. You have the story but no idea to put it into words, no point. But if we really dont have any idea then try to start with two or three words maybe enough, as long as you let it out. You maybe angry so blog it. If the thing too personal then just tell your feeling and its enough to lessen our burden.

So, Im going to start again. Below is my new blog after two months off and there will be more after this.

I need makeup set and a good one.

The day before yesterday when I was figuring out how to dress up for my junior's convo, I've just realise that I dont have make-up set. As a woman at least I have one but I dont. Even Im not good at this but sometimes I touch up my face when I feel want to. Its not because of not interested but I dont need them regularly. I only buy some of my things when I need it and its always been like that. A friend of mine suggested me one brand, Mary Kay. Never heard of this brand, interesting isnt it? well, im not suprise since im not into that yet. I wanted to have one just incase I need it in future for any occasions. I mean, its so funny I dont have one. I will try this Mary Kay and find out more out there.

My friend mad at me

I just dont understand why he mad at me ...actually I do understand but maybe he is having a bad day today that a piece of advise, spontanious came out like that also makes him angry. Take it easy. Im not educating you if that what you think. It just a conversations. Sorry if that make you hurt.

When we think too much about what people say sometimes make us miserable and take it so hard. Even we say it in a spontanious way like sembang kosong. Well, he maybe a very complicated type of person, take every single words as complicated as himself/herself even they know our characters that like to play and joke sometimes.

Anger makes us down.
Anger makes us uncontrollable.
Anger makes us away from friends.
Anger makes us losing friends.
Anger leads us to unhealthy thinking.
Anger leads us to fight.
Anger create the way to hatred
We must know where to put the anger.
Anger makes us lack of LOVE.
Because LOVE is the foundation of everything.

Love you all and peace to all humankind...:)

Just awake

...I am just awake....
...rushing for cooking...
...rushing to arrange my collections of KFC and McD
...dont forget your book May...
...ya, im done...now go for shower...

Happy day May...I love you MYSELF....:)

I am lonely

I hate to admit this but I am lonely.

Miss my mama

Miss my papa

Miss my hometown

Miss my siblings

Miss my food

And I am alone today...anyone I can hang out with?

I had a dream last night.

I gave birth to two babies and I was so happy. What was that suppose to mean?

As usual my mama angry with me for calling her just to confess about my dream. My papa too.

They asked me to pray and I did. I tell you, if I ask my grandma, she will tell me the meaning.

She has been a Catholic for so long and still cannot get rid with her old practice.

Seniors...what can we say...And why so serious?

things in my mind now

• sleep
• sleep
• sleep
• and sleep
• food

Vacation

Its been a long time I never out for any vacation so I tried it out this year. Awesome...awesome...and awesome. You should try too. You go to the place that suit with your budget and everything gonna be fine. At least you can go out awhile from your cage. It was nice and an amazing journey. I still can buy this and buy that a bit, visit all the places, enough food of course but still bought magie mee just for breakfast and for an emergency cases like hungry in the middle of the night. Believe me, I always starving at 12am to 3am. Dont go for expensive hotel for your vacation. Room only for you to change, sleep, rest and keep your stuffs. My room only costs me RM25 per night...my goodness, that cheap? Should I complaint? I have room, water, light, internet, fake pool, cafe, aircond, Astro, beer and even the service room once a day. What more to complaint? Oh ya, I pay for the beer only if I take it. I took one can.

4D 3N, not tiring at all because no rushing. We had lots of fun round here and there, went back to rest-house at 6pm/7pm and went to bed early, woke up late.Fuhhh...

My Drawing

Sa pun tida tau apa mau buat time sa boring. I think I need an extra job untuk mengisi masa lapang. I was thinking to go for class also but not now, i guess. So I just need to do something I like when the time still allow me to do. After you get married for sure your time too limited for stuff like this. Not even your sweet time so lets take it as an advantage. So I draw...I am not that really good in drawing but people say, put some extra efforts if you want to do something and draw because you want to draw. Dont draw when your mind says play guitar. I dont have much to do during my off day so I draw; its not finish yet but i have no idea. This is simple. You can do better than me if you try.

things in my mind now

• pi berenang
• makan
• cooking
• blogging

People with brain but never use it

Few days ago, i went to GH to take my blood sample...drive la ni pi GH, i was a bit rushing. Red light so all cars stop. I looked around and suddenly I saw hand came out from the window, red proton infront of me. Im not sure what she/he is going to do but the hand holding tissue and just let the hand out from the window for a few seconds. Then after that the monkey [marah ni..] put the tissue on top of the car and when the car moved the tissue dropped...and I was like, what the hell...!!! Suddenly I got angry. Why the monkey still pretend like nothing was happening? It just the same, you still littering you stupid jerk.

Right after the light turns to green then I try to get closer to the car to get the number. I wasnt sure what am I going to do with the number if I can get it but that was the only thing I can think of that time. And Yes, I managed to get the number but with lots of efforts until i got honked by a motorist because he's a bit close to my car and I try to take my left with signal and I saw him that time.

PHY9892

What is wrong with this monkey people? Hey PHY9892, you just like monkey in the jungle dont know where to throw the banana skin. Meaning to say that you're uncivilized people. Why not you just leave it inside the car, when you reach home you throw them away where it suppose to be. Dont tell me you want to keep your car clean that is why you did that. Hey, where is your parent? are they monkey too dont know how to educate their kids to keep the environment clean?

When our earth facing global warming, you blame technology.

When our earth facing polution, you blame factory.

When our country too dirty, you blame cleaner which only earn RM450/month.

When our kids bitten by teacher, you blame teacher but never think that your kids never listen.

When our kids dont know how to behave, you blame your maid and teacher again.

You tell me if you have at least plastic bag inside your car to put all your rubbish?

You tell me if you ever punish or tell your kids that they did wrong if you saw them littering?

You tell me if you ever be their centre of all foundation as a civilized people?

And trust me, maybe you do the same thing, no wonder your kids behave juuuuust like you.

So, behave yourself...

Eng Tay's or May's

When you feel bored, you will think of something. So, I reached my pencil and start to scratch something on a peace of paper with a picture infront of me. The small stage where the lady is standing wasnt done nicely and I tried again but still the same ending. I leave the little stage like it was and I try to start from her feet and it still not a nice start. So, I started again from her dress at the back side to the head and only I got my rhythm. My pencil was moving fast and finished the job about 15mins. The original copy painted by Eng Tay. I am sorry Eng Tay, I modified the picture a bit. I made her with the skirt only and leave it nothing at the top.

Eng Tay was born and raised in Kedah, Malaysia. In 1968 he moved to New York City to study at The Art Students League, followed by graduation from The School Of Visual Arts in 1972 as a graphic designer. He worked in the graphic arts field until 1978, when he undertook several painting trips though out South America and Indonesia until 1980.

Here you go. Enjoy our paintings.

Tajuk Karangan: Kucing dan kereta myvi

Tajuk: Kucing dan kereta Myvi
Label: Kisah Benar

Satu hari, saya keluar makan malam bersama kawan saya. Semasa dalam perjalanan ke tempat meletak kereta, tiba-tiba saya terlihat seekor kucing sedang bersantai atas kereta salah seorang kawan saya, tetapi bukan kereta kawan saya yang keluar bersama saya. Aksi duduk termenungnya sangat comel dan saya mencuba untuk mendekatinya untuk mengambil gambar dengan kedudukan yang strategik. Si kucing takut. Mungkin dia berfikir yang saya cuba menculik dia. Dia dengan muka curiganya beredar perlahan-lahan tetapi tetap di atas kereta itu. Saya mendekatinya lagi dengan harapan kucing itu memahami bahawa saya cuma ingin mengambil gambarnya sahaja. Dia tetap takut juga. Saya tetap berkeras untuk mengejarnya. Sebelum dia melompat terjun dari kereta itu, dia sempat berposing sikit untuk mengambil hati saya. Saya pun sangat gembira.

4 Generations

Sometimes wonder how do I look like when I grow old.

I think definitely like grandma. You cool grandma with your blurrr expression.

I call her 'Nenek'.

************************************* Mama, you are the best among the great woman in the world.

You are growing old while im getting matured.

Your laugh and tears always been a medicine for me.

Your wrinkles shows that you suffered a lot for me.

Your anger such a beautiful melody for me when I am alone.

You used to call me ugly but you just dont know how to admit that you're beautiful.

You used to call me stupid but you just dont know how to cherish my brightness.

You just knew it but you just dont know how to say.

You and I used to cry together and it was a beatiful moment for me.

You said NO to carlsberg but I said YES sometimes.

You said NO to lihing, I said YES as along as not more than my limits.

You said NO to Penang, I said YES for the time being. Wait Ma...

You said NO to lazyness, I said YES when I am lazy.

You said NO to sins, I said...Ma, I cant help it. I am just naughty Ma.

You said YES to pray, I said YES sometimes.

Then you said I never love you, I said NO, that is not true.

You never give up on me even you know I always make you down and cry.

~Happy Mother's Day Ma~

*************************************

I am naughty.

I am naughty.

I am naughty.

I am naughty.

I am naughty.

That's why Mama loves me.

*****************************************

My niece.

My sister's daughter.

My Mum's first granddaughter.

She is 14-year-old.

She's taller than me.

She's bigger than me.

She speaks Hakka, Mandarin, Bahasa, English and Dusun a bit.

We both eat a lot.

Her father's name is Chang Nyuk Siong.

She is a conqueror.

She ask to much.

She calls my Mum Ciapo and my Dad Ciakong.

She just SMS me last nite and it sounds like this;

[AhYee, Im Vivian. Can you buy me pencilbox, pink colour and made by cotton?]

Sigh!!!